What does RSVP mean, and how to get wedding guests to reply

What does RSVP mean?

RSVP means please reply. It is the initials of répondez s'il vous plaît, a French phrase that literally reads "respond if it pleases you". On an invitation, the host is asking for an answer: yes or no, by a date.

In Portuguese, the same request is called confirmação de presença (confirming attendance). Formal Portuguese invitations also use R.S.F.F., "responda se faz favor". According to protocol specialist Susana de Salazar Casanova, in a 2010 column, R.S.V.P. is the French form, used internationally, even in English-speaking countries and in some Portuguese-speaking ones.

At a wedding, RSVP is about simple arithmetic. Catering is paid per guest and the venue asks for the final number weeks before the day. Without replies, that number is a guess, and so is the seating plan.

The host, when organising an event, be it small or large, needs to know the number of participants to estimate or adjust costs and to plan the occasion realistically.

Susana de Salazar Casanova, protocol specialist (2010), translated from Portuguese

When should the RSVP deadline be?

The usual deadline is 4 to 6 weeks before the wedding. Work backwards. The venue asks for the final number on a date set in your contract, and your RSVP deadline sits about 2 weeks before it. Those 2 weeks are for chasing the people who haven't replied.

The final-number date varies by contract. In the conditions of two Portuguese wedding estates we read in October 2026, one asks for the total guest count 30 days before and charges at least €25 + VAT for each extra guest who turns up on the day. The other asks for the confirmed list 15 days before, along with half of the payment. Check this date in your own contract before you choose your deadline.

How to write RSVP on a wedding invitation

Write the request on one line, with the reply-by date and how to reply. On an English invitation, "RSVP by 15 May" is enough. On a Portuguese one, "confirmem a presença" or "é favor confirmar" reads better than RSVP. If your guests speak both languages, write both.

Give a date with the day and month, such as "by 15 May", never "as soon as possible". Say how: one of your mobile numbers, the wedding website or a reply card. If it helps, say why: "we need to give the venue our final number" shows guests why the date matters. For the rest of the wording, see our wedding invitation wording examples.

With a digital invitation sent on WhatsApp, the website link does the job of the reply card: guests tap it and reply straight away, with nothing to keep for later.

How to collect replies: card, phone, WhatsApp or website?

Pick one main way and print it on the invitation. With several at once, replies end up scattered across notebooks, calls and chats, and someone drops out of the count.

You can combine two: the website for most guests and the phone for those who don't use the internet. Record phone replies in the same place as the website ones, so you have one number.

In joinVows

RSVPs on joinVows

On joinVows, each guest opens your website, types their name and replies for themselves and everyone on the same invitation. The reply goes straight into Guests. There you see who hasn't replied and send them a WhatsApp reminder, already written in each person's details. We don't send reminder emails.

Create a free account

For your guests, there is a step-by-step guide on how to RSVP on the couple's website. They don't need an account.

What to do when guests don't reply

Remind them before you give the venue your number: first by message, then by phone. People who don't reply aren't always ignoring you. Sometimes the invitation never reached them.

1. 1

   One week before the deadline

   Send a short message to anyone who hasn't replied, with the link or the number to reply to. It's a reminder, not a demand.

2. 2

   The day after the deadline

   Send a personal message, using their name, asking only whether they're coming. A yes-or-no question takes a minute to answer.

3. 3

   A few days later

   Call whoever is still missing, to check that the invitation really reached them. It may have gone to an old address.

4. 4

   On final-number day

   If there's still no answer, decide yourselves whether to count them. Tell them what you decided, so there are no surprises on the day.

Split the work: each of you talks to your own family and friends. A wedding guest list with everyone's mobile number makes this faster, because you know at once who to call.

What RSVP means if you are the guest

For a guest, RSVP means: reply by the date, whether or not you can come. In the same 2010 column, protocol says to reply as soon as possible, ideally right after the invitation arrives or, at most, in the following days. In practice, reply within the week after it arrives.

On a Portuguese invitation, look for "confirmem a presença até", "é favor confirmar" or R.S.F.F.: they all mean RSVP by that date. If it says "só negativas" (regrets only), only people who can't come reply, and silence counts as yes. At a wedding the couple needs an exact number, so the norm is to ask everyone.

R.S.F.F., regrets only and other invitation abbreviations

Besides RSVP, invitations in Portugal use a few short forms. R.S.F.F. appears on official invitations, such as a Portuguese university's invitation to a colloquium in 2017: "RSFF até ao dia 12 de outubro de 2017" (reply by 12 October 2017), with a phone number and an email. The table shows what each one asks.

"Please RSVP" is common in English, even though the please is already in s'il vous plaît. In the United Kingdom everyone is expected to reply, while in the United States some people only reply when they are coming. If you have American guests, say on the invitation that you need an answer from everyone.